Conspiracy Theory #37
Every so often, we at TrulyObscure like to take a look at what the real pariahs are doing. We take a little heat for our zaniness sometimes, but if you think we’re off-kilter you definitely need to start using the internet as God intended. That is, to find fringe opinions and make fun of them. Everyone loves an easy target!
THE U.S. GOVERNMENT, DIMENSIONAL PORTALS AND DR. WEN HO LEERight away, the omens begin: “This story may exceed what you are accustomed to consider as reality.”
Which, once you think about it, is kind of a nice warning to give people. I mean, who wants their reality spoiled without a proper period of adjustment. And consider this- the article is already aimed at an audience of, shall we say, judgement-impaired individuals. For them, the warning serves simply as a reminder of how cool it is to read an article about real science by a real “Ph.D.”!
The author continues with a gentle reminder that: “To process this story, it helps if you accept that the government is not totally forthcoming in the news stories it feeds the media.”
Thanks for the tip. Already, I’m starting to agree with him. Maybe there’s something to this after all…
And then, bam, I’m confused: “It also helps to realize that the government uses the word “nuclear secrets” as a code phrase for all kinds of secret advanced technology, such as antigravity propulsion and psychotronic remote-influencing devices, and not just for atomic weapons.”
Whoa! I’m frightened and intrigued. But apparently so is the government, who at Los Alamos Laboratory, NM “have succeeded in generating a holographic portal… and have used this portal to travel across space-time, and possibly interdimensionally, and have seen into another world. What they saw there… both frightened and intrigued them.”
I don’t think it’d be a crime to say that I actually personally know a close relative who works for LANL and I’m feeling a little peeved that she probably got to time travel to frightening and intriguing places/times/placetimes and isn’t taking me with her! I promise not to step on any butterflies !
But wait! Who’s the victim? Every good conspiracy theory needs a victim, and here the best they can do is the former “sacrificial lamb” scientist Wen Ho Lee.
What we at TrulyObscure love about this painstakingly-researched article is how it simultaneously laughs at the government’s security measures (“such “lapses of security” have been epidemic”) and claims that the government has been successfully hiding not just JFK, but an interdimensional holographic portal.
Oh, and don’t forget to check out the postscript, and see how the goverment is spending your hard-earned tax dollars: blocking emails with viruses. For a technical dissection of these claims- well, it’s not even worth it.
Thanks for joining us in Conspiracy Theory #37, an infrequent column dedicated to fighting insanity over there so that it can’t come attack us over here.
