TrulyObscure - article - domicilia - trulyrandom - Not Your Grandma's Flavors

For years, artificial flavors have shaped our taste universe. From green apple candies which make the real thing pale in comparison, to jellybeans that taste like buttered popcorn, we’ve seperated taste from substance remarkably well.

And just to prove the point, for the last few years Jones Soda has created oddly-flavored Holiday Packs that have quickly become collector’s items. We got our hands on one (thanks, Jones), even though they are sold through Target stores and there isn’t a Target here (c’mon Target!). This year’s flavors are: Turkey and Gravy, Broccoli Casserole, Corn on the Cob, Smoked Salmon Pate, and Pecan Pie. For those a bit confused- yes, these are actually sodas, and yes, those are supposed to be the flavors. The Holiday Pack is $13, and some of the money goes to charity.

Yesterday, after a pleasant Thanksgiving dinner, we shared the sodas among everyone in our party. The impressions varied from “weird” to “cool”, but it was generally agreed that it was a noble experiment gone wrong. Turkey and Gravy was the stand-out, tasting indeed like a sweeter version of bubbly gravy, though the color had several people worried. Corn on the Cob and Broccoli Casserole were disappointingly caramel-flavored, with only a hint of what the taste was supposed to be. No blind taste-tester would’ve even considered the stated flavor, but the strange aftertastes made them undrinkable as regular soda.

Keep in mind that these are gimmicks, not meant to be consumed on a regular basis. Especially the Smoked Salmon Pate, with a fishy smell and an overpoweringly smoky flavor, it was kind of like liquid sushi/sashimi. Very weird, and with a lingering taste that required effort to be rid of. Finally, the Pecan Pie, which we had saved for last expecting it to be most palatable, was butterscotch flavored with a slightly “doughy” smell… but not as good as it sounds. Part of the problem was Jones’ decision to make them all carb-free, using artificial sweetener instead of sugar.

Which leads us to another new product, actually one of Time Magazine’s “Most Amazing Inventions of 2005”. The Flavor Spray Diet is basically a set of natural and artificial flavorings that you can use on food to make it “tastier”. We tried pepper, cookies and cream, banana split, ranch, and strawberry shortcake and found them all to be reasonable facsimiles of their stated flavors. Only two of them tasted at all artificial- but our dieting tester couldn’t quite figure out a good way to use them. Basically, even diet options like rice cakes and microwave meals have enough flavor to be passable, and adding a different flavor sometimes conflicted. The sweet flavorings in particular were hard to use, as diet strawberry ice cream isn’t particularly good, but adding the strawberry shortcake flavor spray didn’t make it much better, only stranger.

Some choices seem odd because, say, peppers don’t actually have much fat or any carbs to contend with- why use a fake spray instead of real peppers? Nonetheless, with flavors like Pesto and Terriyaki, they are easy to use and fairly inexpensive ($5.95 per bottle, each bottle good for quite a while). You can check out a flavor list at their website .